Without Regret
by marcasite
Summary: She didn’t think that it would be this hard, this difficult to see him again.


Thank you to Kara for the beta. This is for the Geekfiction Summer Reading Ficathon. My prompt was Charlotte Bronte.

* * *

_Remorse is the poison of life. –Jane Eyre_

She had not seen him in over two years.

Two years since Natalie walked into their lives with her own brand of terror and changed it forever.

"_I need this time for me; I need you to understand that."_

She didn't think that it would be this hard, this difficult to see him again. But her breath caught in the back of her throat as she watched him moved quietly into the room, head bent slightly towards the ground. She watched him as he made his way awkwardly through the crowd and knew the exact second he realized she was there.

He simply stopped moving, staring at her in slight wonder.

She waved at him, tentatively and was rewarded by his quiet approach.

"Sara. I had no idea you back in town. How long are you staying?"

"Only for a few days. I went to the conference earlier today and I thought it couldn't hurt to have a few drinks afterwards. Make nice. I am surprised to see you here tonight. I know how much you dislike this sport of thing." Sara waved her hand casually, indicating the crowd.

His eyes seem to grow a shade darker as he stared back at her, "People change, Sara." His tone spoke volumes and she knew how much she had hurt him two years ago.

"_I could change, Sara. I've already told everyone how much you mean to me, let me prove it."_

She spoke softly, "Yes, I can see. Would you-, would you like to go somewhere?"

He tilted his head; slightly "I would like that."

* * *

The restaurant was dimly lit, creating a romantic ambiance that Sara wasn't sure he chose on purpose.

"Do you like your new job?" Grissom stared intently at her as she sipped from her wineglass.

"I love it. I always thought I would be a CSI and that's all I would do. But I like working with kids and I think I have a knack for it. I get to put some of my training to use and after" her voice falters slightly, "after Natalie, the job brings me peace."

"_It's an amazing opportunity for me to help families in crisis. I could help the living, help change someone's life now."_

Grissom nodded at her, "I worried about you, Sara. All the time. I had hoped to…maybe hear from you and know that you were fine."

Sara reached across the table, placing her hand over his. He started slightly but did not move his hand away. "I'm so sorry, Griss. More than you can imagine. I was terrified, and confused. I did the only thing I thought I could and maybe it wasn't right, wasn't fair but it was what I needed to do. I wish I could go back and change everything, but it's done. I never meant to hurt you."

He didn't respond, just watched. She faltered slightly, wondering if this was going to work, if she should even be here. She knew she had destroyed what they had with a few short sentences and sometimes going back was more of a mistake than moving forward.

"_I waited for years, for years! Hoping that something would change, you could love me even half of what I love you and that would be enough."_

"I never stopped, Sara. How could I? You've been the only one for years and I should have fought harder to keep you." The words were spoken so softly, Sara had to lean forward to hear them. "Are you moving back?"

Sara broke into a wide smile, "If you want me to."

* * *

His mouth tasted of mint as his lips moved hungrily against hers. She slid both hands into his short hair as his own wrapped around her back. They slowly lowered, cupping her closer to him. His fingers felt deliciously warm on her spine as they trailed back up over her skin.

By the time they both came up for air, Grissom's eyes were smoky with passion and growing heat. Sara pushed herself up to straddle him and contemplated the quickest way to get his shirt off.

Cupping on of her breasts through her camisole, he grinned at her. "Oh, I remember this. Should I just rip it off?"

Starting work on the buttons of his shirt, she narrowed her eyes. "Griss, don't you dare."

A big, warm hand slid under the lace hem and went looking for bare flesh. She closed her eyes as his fingers did wonderful things to her breast. She slid them open to stare into his eyes, "I've missed you."

"Not nearly as much as I've missed you. I always wondered if we could've done things differently back then, if we could have taken some time away, just you and I."

She managed to drag another button from its buttonhole, exposing a tempting sliver of muscle and chest. "No regrets, Griss. We made our choices and we have to live with them. Right now, I'm choosing to love you and only you."

Grissom smiled up at Sara and reached up for one of the buttons, "Let me help you with that."

"Thank you." She rose off of him to stand astride his hips, pulling her camisole over her head. She heard his soft intake of breath and smiled at him. "I think I remember where the bedroom is. Down the hall, to the left?"

Five minutes later they were naked on his bed, and Grissom was demonstrating exactly how much he'd miss her. Each long, wet stroke of his tongue made her squirm, while the big hand exploring between her thighs sent heat coursing through her body.

Sara caressed every inch of skin she could touch, branding him as hers. He settled between her legs, dragging out the moment before he slid into her. A low moan erupted from her and he arched in the ecstasy of treading the edge of self-control, of sending his whole length into her pulsing heat, of feeling his balls against her wet crevice.

He pulled out and sank into her again. "Missed you…love you…so much."

He was delving into the hot velvet, her quickening cries of rising tension joining his ragged breaths. "Need this, want this." Sara tossed her head back, lifting her hips to meet his thrusts, speeding the coming of the explosion, frantic.

Her dark eyes looked like melted chocolate, so deep was her arousal and she clutched his shoulders, slipped her hands to his slick back and kneaded the rippling muscles laddering his spine. As her control shattered she dug her nails.

"So good." She dragged out her words, slurring them slightly as Grissom continued to pound into her, gripping her hips, melding her to him. He threw back his head and He let himself go, exploding deep inside of her.

"_You were always the only one I ever loved. Stay with me."_


End file.
